White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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