i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
