You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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