Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize