legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
