Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
