Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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