It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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