Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
