My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
