dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I pour the whiskey from now on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
