My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
