i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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