remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
