Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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