i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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