haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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