Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
