He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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