I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
