I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
