This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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