don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
