..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
