that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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