remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
