remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
