dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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