I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
