dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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