Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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