How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
