dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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