Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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