i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
