What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
sarcasm needs its own font
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
