It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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