But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
