Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
