i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
