Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
