remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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