I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
