Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
