is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
