areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Say something about gay babies.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
