Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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