Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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