he thought i was a dude.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
