I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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