Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
