tell your sister to shave her snatch
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
