Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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