Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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