im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize