whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
