Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
