oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize