i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
