Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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