if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
wow bdsm is so cute
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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